okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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