you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
