I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
