you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
