I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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