You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize