I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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