And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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