he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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