Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i think im in europe. pls send help
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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