i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
