He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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