She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
