oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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