So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
