hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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