this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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