and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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