Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
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