We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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