That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
