The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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