The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
