I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
