So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
