Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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