I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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