I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
