Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize