Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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