i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
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