its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
