More tranny stories later!
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
