So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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