i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
