By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
