Dual....:-)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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