I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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