im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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