He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
