She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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