Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
