I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
