Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
