I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
