stop calling my apartment porn island.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
3pm strippers are depressing
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
