just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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