I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
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Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
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I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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