I think i sorta joined a cult last night
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't deserve a penis
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Randomize
