**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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