its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
