i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize