you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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