Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
