I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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