JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
is wine microwaveable?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
