I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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