I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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