let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
