i may or may not be watching the land before time
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
