She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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