ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
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How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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