there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
you made out with another girl for some wings
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
