I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
