I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
