I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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